The Man’s Charge in Leading the Home

How to Spank Your Wife

and Other Tips in Leading Her

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How Spanking Cleanses a Woman

Much can be said about spanking’s punitive abilities, or its deterrent effect. In fact, those are some of the first things we think of when we think of punishment of any kind, and one of the first things that comes to mind with spanking, along with its intimacy and nudity announcing it as profound maritalContinue reading “How Spanking Cleanses a Woman”

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  1. I do accept as true with all of the concepts you have presented
    in your post. They are very convincing and will definitely work.
    Still, the posts are too short for beginners. May just you please extend them a bit from next time?
    Thank you for the post.


    1. Thanks for visiting my site. I hope you find the articles helpful. As far as article length, I may have a few longer ones coming up. Some articles I like to keep short just because I don’t think it’s always necessary to get into all the details, and also because so much comes down to personal decision of how to practice wife spanking. There are not many hard and fast rules. I will think about if I need more added detail in the future though.


  2. Sir,
    I am a submissive wife for 25 yrs now, but my husband has only disciplined me once and it was because I sassed him. He took me across his knee and spanked me with my panties down. It did not last long like you say it needs to be done. But, he did get his point across, now he just looks at me if I start to get out of sorts with him. I feel their have been many times when I deserved to be put across his lap, I don’t know why he hasn’t disciplined me in over 23yrs. Does he not love me anymore? He has stopped having anything to do with me romantically for 10 yrs now, he won’t go to the doctor either. He doesn’t hold me or kiss me either except to say goodnight. I am starting to feel very insecure. Can you tell me what I should do without disrespecting my husband?

    Liked by 4 people

  3. My husband and I were both seeking a traditional head of household type relationship when we were first dating/married. Now we are a couple years in and pretty quickly I lost respect for him because he doesn’t have any rules and definitely no punishment. I have again and again begged him to spank me but he doesn’t consistently do it. After reading your blog I talked to him about it again. It makes me lose respect when it feels like he’s not being consistent. This is a huge turn off for me and I have almost no sexual attraction if he won’t be the man of our house and keep me in my place. Any tips for me?


    1. Hello Rosa, Thanks for visiting and for sharing your situation. A lot of women are in a similar situation, wanting leadership and discipline, but finding their husbands don’t desire to. Be patient. It can take a while for a man to really wrap his head around the idea of clearly leading and disciplining his wife.

      As I always emphasize, the most important is for him to practice leadership in the home. Let applying discipline come second and later. His headship comes first. It is good for him to see the importance of leadership as well, and understand how it helps, not just in your behavior, but in setting good, productive rules in the home, as well as ethical standards.

      Also realize, even though you feel you lose respect for him, it is your job to respect your husband. That’s a job to do and not a feeling. Start training yourself in showing respect to him, showing him honor, and being obedient. It is furthermore your duty to share intimacy, even if you think his lack of leadership makes him less attractive. Do your job fully as a wife no matter what.

      If you’d like to contact me, I’d be happy to talk at more length. Just get me at my e-mail or the contact form. I think there are readers here who have gone through similar things who can give some advice too. God be with you.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think I’ve wanted this type of marriage for a while. There are times that I know I’ve disrespected my husband not on purpose but it happens. Their are times we fight about it. Overall we are very close and connected. I just feel like this would help me grow as his wife and submit more. I grew up with seeing my Mom be the head of the household so I’ve learned some bad habits. I want to grow and take my role to another level and I do try and catch myself. The problem is how to introduce this concept to my husband without him thinking I’m crazy. Or turning him off. Thoughts how to approach this way of living to my husband?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello Honey, Thanks for visiting my discipline site. A lot of women are in a similar situation; feeling they need or want spanking to help learn submission, or to stop bad habits. There are ways to bring it up that would be helpful, but all will require some courage on your part.

      It can take time for a man to wrap his head around the idea, but I usually recommend starting with a good understanding of headship and submission, and THEN seeing how spanking fits in with correction. He may need to start with simply taking the command he really has, and setting some limits on your behavior.

      You can share your need to be spanked, or bring up the subject in an instance when you have behaved badly and he knows it. You can let him know you feel you should be punished for your behavior. Look for good material to show him too. Something that will help explain the subject, but won’t be too extreme or oddball. There’s a lot of bad stuff out there.

      I do have an article that deals with the wife introducing discipline here: https://spankingyourwife.wordpress.com/2020/05/16/asking-your-man-to-spank-you/

      You are also free to write me at my contact below or on the About page. I’d be happy to discuss it with your husband if he is willing.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. My husband and I are just starting this needed journey. I served a dom for twenty years before I met my husband and need this security with my husband. I know he is not a forceful man but very manly. We are in the process of setting rules and starting maintenance. I am so anxious to have this with him. I know I will feel more love when he sets the rules and follow through with much needed spankings.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Congratulations on beginning your journey with your husband. I believe it will bring peace and fulfillment in your home. It does not require being a forceful man per se, but only being firm, and responsible as a leader. I hope he learns to lead you very well.


  6. Is it possible to add a “Recent Comments” box to the homepage? This would enable readers to keep up to date with each others’ insights.


      1. My husband threw out all my pants and said he was the man,when I became angry when he replaced them with dresses,he pulled my sweats down and spanked me bare bottomed in front of his brother,and threw out my sweats as well,i was humilated should I obey him or not confused


      2. Hello Bobbi, Of course you need to obey him, since he is your husband. He is looking out for your good by making sure you wear feminine clothing. Women and men should not dress like each other. However, a spanking is just between husband and wife, and no one else should be involved. It would be good to discuss that with him gently and with respect.


  7. Fantastic website. Have you ever thought of perhaps implementing a personals section for like-minded people to meet? I have been searching for this type of relationship and unfortunately all of the sites that classify as “personal ads” are mostly for BDSM.


    1. Thank you Joe. That’s a good idea and you are not the first person to suggest this. While I don’t have the resources to have an actual singles section, I let people post in the comments if they are interested, and put their contacts there for meeting someone. In the coming few weeks I will do an article just on this subject, and will invite singles to comment below. But you can comment anywhere if you’d like.


      1. That’s great to hear! And until that post, I’ll leave my details here if that’s ok. I’m 41 and live in California. Firm believer in DD, have been my entire life. Looking for someone in the range of 30-45 but open to anyone/anywhere- I’ve found that DD is more important than location and age! If anyone would like to chat I use the email looking4DD@mail.com. Looking forward to it.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Other than going to church, is there any way I can find myself a traditional man? I’m at a huge roadblock with this and am struggling.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Brooke, Thanks for your question. Church is a very good place to find a traditional man, although there are plenty of liberals in churches as well. Many people use websites also, which has its drawbacks, but you can still meet a good spouse that way. Sometimes we meet our partner through a friend who introduces us. What do you find is the difficulty?

      Some women do live in a very liberal area, and if that’s the case, then looking long distance might help, or move if you have to. It’s worth moving for a godly man. Some men go overseas to find traditional women, since the West is so feminized. It’s sad, and makes me ashamed of my own people, but if it’s necessary so be it.

      As I’ve mentioned before, you are welcome to leave a comment on my website looking for a good traditional man, and you can leave your contacts as well. I added the post Your Place for Singles to help out not just in finding a traditional mate, but in finding one that will use discipline:


      I hope that helps. Bless you.


      1. Thank you for the reply! What I find difficult is finding someone who isn’t entirely liberal. I do live in a liberal State and am working very hard to get a job to move to an apartment and have a car to travel. At the moment I still live with my parents and am still in college.

        What I have a problem with is probably searching online. I don’t have a dating profile or any social media accounts. I’ve tried meeting guys irl like at the gym for example, but I’m finding that guys don’t approach women like they used to; even if I do give off clear signs.

        And yes I have checked out that post! And have even reached out to a few people who have commented, but sadly, I received no replies.

        Any help or further suggestions or guidance would be appreciated! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Great. I think you’ve got the right attitudes and view towards marriage. It sounds like you can really bless the man who marries you.

        If I didn’t mention before, I do have a few articles on introducing discipline in a marriage, with one focused on the female perspective: Asking Your Man to Spank You.

        I grew up very shy. Tell you the truth, I would have been nervous to approach a woman even if she was giving off the signs. While it is normal for a man to lead, don’t be afraid to be more direct and start up a conversation.

        Bless you.


  9. Hey, I will start by mentioning that I’m a feminist. I know y’all have a lot of misconceptions about feminism so allow me to tell you what a feminist it. A feminist wants equality for the sexes. That’s all. They don’t necessarily want to boss around the men in their life and be karens.
    When I first stumbled upon your blog I burst out laughing at how “primitive” your ideology was. I immediately corrected myself…we were just different and I had to take time to understand why you believe in what you do. I’m a sociology student and it’s important for me to understand social structures like marriage and how different communities structure their concept of an “ideal marriage”.
    Let me say this now : I do not wish to offend you. Something tells me even if your ideology is a little flawed, you are a good man. And as long as you treat everyone with love, I will respect you regardless of your ideology and approach to life.
    It’s obvious to see that your ideas on gender roles have been formed from your deep devotion to your religion. While I don’t adhere to any religion, I respect those who do. Religion offers a disciplined way to live…It is just not for me.
    Gender roles have existed for ages. Most of it is biological, and that’s why it makes sense. Adhering to gender roles also give conservation people a sense of comfort…and that’s okay as long as those involved consent to it.
    Almost all Abrahamic religions teach men to work and provide for women, because in those days only men could do this. Almost all jobs were labor intensive and males being physically stronger were better suited for it. Infant mortality rates were rocketing so it was important for women to remain inside homes and take care of their health and be able to give birth… all to perpetuate the species….HOWEVER THIS IS JUST DIVISION OF LABOR. It does not make one sex BELOW the other.

    I think that your notion of women being “below” men is absurd. Both women and men are perfectly capable of leading a household. I have seen it happen. As for being submissive…it’s a choice. You shouldn’t expect women to be submissive. Nor should you expect a man to be able to lead. Our personalities are not solely defined by our sex.

    As for the feminist idea of “tearing down gender roles”…this allows to remove nonsensical roles given to each sex with no regard to their personal capabilities. I have known women who are excellent teachers, businesswomen, painters, writers, bank managers, army personnel and even martial artists. Since the last two jobs require physical strength, it is dominated by men. But there are a few women who are capable of doing it…feminism ensures that ideas of gender roles do not hold these women back.

    Submission is a beautiful thing…but not specific to one gender lol.
    Having said that, while I hate your way of life, it’s beautiful if your wife consents to all this. HOWEVER you shouldn’t force this way of life upon your kids. It’s a free world, if your daughter wants to work and your son does not want to “lead his household”, do not stop them. You may be the “head of the household” but you have no right to make your children follow your example. Set them a good example and if they like the way of life you have shown them, they will join you once they are older…they don’t become “godless” if they choose to not to live like you. I hope your daughters can become whatever they want rather than worry about gender roles and saddening her parents.


    1. Hello Feminist, Thank you for writing. It is a rare instance indeed when I receive a comment from a feminist that is not outraged or insulting, and which actually reflects a fair amount of thought on this subject. You are welcome to share your thoughts, although I don’t do long debates on this website. It is truly fair to investigate seriously why people believe what they believe. However, I still ask you to lose some of your preconceptions.

      To reply to a few of your points, I’d like to start by reminding you that your own worldview is shaped by your own religion. That religion likely comes from trust in mankind, rather than trust in God. Trust in what you read in books, despite their many errors. Trust in other authorities such as left-wing teachers and so-called experts in a field. Trust in dubious fields of learning such as psychology and sociology. Attitudes shaped by peers, and by secular entertainment, music, and literature.

      Those things inform you about what is true. About what is good. They even inform you on how to interpret the evidence, when you examine a question. While not devoid of any factual truth, you are placing your trust in the wrong thing. If you make man the ultimate source of truth, and trust others who do the same, you are worshiping the wrong person, and you treat man like a god. Totally besides the fact that this is wrong, it shows that your attitudes are shaped by a faith. Just please recognize that. You have a faith too.

      I do not belong to an “Abrahamic religion.” I am a Christian. I have no fellowship with traditional Jews, who have missed the entire point of their religion, and whose authority really is NOT the Torah and the prophets, but the Talmud, alongside Jewish mysticism (itself a different religion). Muslims have followed a false prophet, who grossly contradicts the doctrines of the Bible. He had heard some biblical stories, so inherited some positive practices from Scripture, but he obviously didn’t really have a Bible, and did not know what it taught. His references even to historical elements of Scripture are jumbled. The fact that they honor a common patriarch, does not provide much similarity. They are false. God’s revelation for man is in the Bible.

      It is not merely a certain few religions that recognize the fact of gender roles. It is nearly universal in history. Nor is it uniquely because some jobs are labor intensive, and women are not as physically strong. There were countless less intensive jobs in history, but men still did them, because they knew it was their role, both to provide for the home and to lead society. A higher infant mortality is not what encouraged women to care for the home. If anything, assuming egalitarianism, it ought to have scared them OUT of the home. Women cared for the home, and many still do, because of its rooting in divine truth, and in woman’s nature — being specially designed to bear and nurture children, and having the emotional makeup better suited for the role of homemaker. You are trying to desperately read back into history what you want to see there, but you are willfully ignoring the parts you do not wish to see.

      If women were equally suited for the same jobs as men, society would not need to push them to do those jobs, and go out of their way to get women into certain fields. They would not need to forcefully create certain women’s sports when there is actually little interest in them. They would not need to discriminate in favor of women for schools and for jobs. They would not need to silence anyone who spoke about women’s abilities critically. They would not need to keep women on contraception for many years, attacking their nature in order to get them to imitate men. They would not need to lower standards for women, so they could feel equal when they are not. Clearly, you can see the difference between genders today, as nature has not changed and we are very different. Those differences are just as relevant today as they were thousands of years ago.

      You do recognize one thing at least — there IS a biological rooting for gender roles. Remember that. That ties into the even weightier point that there is a divine rooting for gender roles. Women are subject to their husbands, and are best working in the home, due to their nature, and not mere religious doctrine. Just as man is best suited for his role as leader, protector, and provider. We are designed differently. We have different sets of strengths and weaknesses. That’s why we are most fulfilled in taking on the roles God gives us. It is why men feel shame to be weak before a woman and be told what to do, and why women feel exhilarated to feel their man’s strength. That’s not mere culture. It is in our mind, hearts, and spirits, and has rightly shaped culture over the ages.

      That’s why it is not only Christians, or as you categorize them “Abrahamic religions,” that recognize gender roles. The man is recognized as head of the home by nearly any traditional Hindu as well. He is recognized as head of the home in Asia, and in pantheistic, or shamanistic religions. One has to look far and wide to find an exception to these things. They are as close to universal as anything gets.

      That’s why when feminism came along, it was rightfully seen as absurd and preposterous. Why should two people who are greatly different, and who have different roles, be treated just the same. That really makes no sense. You don’t treat two different kinds of machines the same. Why should you treat two very different kinds of people, with two different aims in life the same? One has to simply insist on feminism as a dogma. It has no rooting in Scripture, in nature, or in thousands of years of human culture, unless you want to look for the rare exception. The woman’s role is in the home, and she is subject to her husband’s authority. The man is clearly built for strength, aggression, and a clear hold on the truth. The woman is built for something different. You allege it is silly that a wife is under her husbands’ authority. But it is rather natural, and so suitable it works beautifully well in marriage.

      Your claim that you “know people” who have egalitarian relationships and who make it work should not convince anyone. It doesn’t convince me. You can find people who marry small children and also “make it work.” The influx of feminism has shown it does NOT work. It came along with a tidal wave of divorce, with men and women who no longer want to marry, with single parent homes, with greater sexual immorality and abortion, with men robbed of their money and their children, with a grand uptick in witchcraft, with gross immodesty, with far more crime committed by women, with far more domestic violence committed by women, and the children of all these broken homes being subject to much more danger. So your nice stories don’t change any of that. Egalitarianism and a near 50% divorce rate go hand in hand. Feminism is against God, and it is proven harmful to the family. It tries to make the woman like the man, whom she is not. Nor does it even aim for true equality, as women are given favor over men in many arenas, including schools, jobs, and family court. That’s not equality. It is domination.

      Women are happiest, safest, and more likely to be moral when they are led in marriage by a good man. That is what women need. If spanking helps him lead her, he may. If he doesn’t need it, that’s fine too. But the man’s leadership, protection, love, and moral leading serve not only men, but women, children, and all society. Feminism has already shown its wicked fruit long ago.

      If you can see that there is a biological rooting for gender roles, you should not miss the fact that our Creator gave us our biologies in the first place. That’s why He also gives us the way to use our bodies and to live. The same God who designed us differently also assigned us different roles. He created a family and civil order that suits our design. That is a reasonable faith. Doctrine and nature work together.

      In contrast, feminism, and much of what I hear from other modern ideologies, are not natural. They are arbitrary. They insist on their dogmas, not because of our design, but DESPITE our design. This is an irrational thing to believe. You’d never let someone tell you to use an important tool in the wrong way, knowing it was not designed to do that, so you should never let someone tell you to ignore human design only to insist we do things against our design. This is true not only with feminism, but obviously also with the modern hyper-fascination with immorality. It must ignore natural law, ignore the harm done by immorality, only to repeat over and over that we are “free” to do what we want, and anyone who says immorality is sinful is a mean [fill in the blank].

      Modernism has created doctrines based on personal desire (no matter how perverse) while ignoring the actual evidence, and the facts of our design. For the Christian, these things all go together. God’s commandments suit human nature and society. We see over and over how they benefit us. We see over and over how going against them causes harm, often very quickly and drastically. You need look no further than the West’s pitfall into godlessness and immorality to see countless lives shattered and countless lives ended just by breaking the law of God. I say then, that trust in God is a reasonable person to trust in. Trust in the desires of man’s heart (in the name of freedom) is totally unreasonable, both in theory and in practice.

      Materialism, finally, is also lacking in a basis for truth and a basis for goodness. You find it commendable that my marriage relationship comes with consent. However, apart from God and the moral law, there is nothing commendable about it. If man is the ultimate source of good and of morality, it might just as well be commendable that one kidnaps women from the street at the point of a knife — and THEN spanks them. Man’s heart can imagine nearly any evil and desire it. Cultures as well have had an enormous variety of practices, including nearly normalized rape. The heart of man cannot establish that it is commendable to have consent in a spanking. It requires God and the moral law to establish that. Now God placed that law on your heart, so you are not devoid of any conscience, of course. You know there is a good. However, in order to do that, you have to agree with a universe ruled by God, and not one ruled only by the desires of man’s heart. If you assent to God’s rule through acting on your conscience, you should assent to it further, in worshiping and obeying God. Cease making man your rule and guide. Worship God. Without Him there is no goodness, truth, or salvation.

      If you’d like to discuss any of these subjects further, you can write me at the e-mail in the footer and the contact page.

      Take care.


  10. Just discovered this site and Aron’s amazing wisdom. I was feeling like I was all alone as a 24-year old spanking husband. I grew up in a strict household and learned the value you of all kinds of discipline including a sore bottom. I heard about the duty of men to spank their wives in college and it made since at many levels but not able to discuss it at church or in my daily life. Spanking has been a part of my marriage and this site is so helpful. I would love to find counsel from other spanking husbands. If you are interested in talking I would love to hear your experiences.


    1. Thank you for your comment. I hope you can connect with a wise and experienced husband here. In the future I will post an article inviting husbands to mentor each other. Until then, anyone is free to leave their contact in the comments if they want to meet other spanking husbands.


  11. My husband wants to spank me with my panties down and have me over his knee. I want to do what he says, but this is so embarrassing, to have my back side exposed like that–it’s so humiliating. I’m not a little girl. Why can’t he just spank me on my skirt?


    1. Hi Bessie, Thank you for visiting my website and for your comment. That’s a very good question. Having your panties down, and your bottom bared, is an important part of your correction. It demands that you be humble, and that you express the full belonging of your body to your man. It presents it to him. Being bared also ensures you feel the full sting of the spanking on your behind, and importantly that your husband can survey the effects of the spanking on your skin.

      True, you are not a little girl, but spankings aren’t only for little girls, Bessie. Adults have been spanked for thousands of years. Corporal punishment has a long and broad history in human civilization. It’s true it may sometimes make you FEEL like a little girl, but that’s not a terrible thing, and it may facilitate your ability to receive your husband’s instructions and learn to be soft to him in the future. It helps you see his real authority over you.

      It may be hard in the moment, for sure, but that aspect is an important part of your learning. Give it time. I think you will see good results, as will your husband.

      Take care.


    2. I had to laugh at your request to get spanked over your skirt. Spanking isn’t a joke, it is a PUNISHMENT which must be painful and humilianting. I hope your husband will give you a longer spanking for your assurdo pretence.


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