Your Place for Singles

I was motivated to write this simply as an invitation to our readers, present and future, to advertise for a spouse if they are single. I’ve had a number of readers ask me about finding a mate, and several specifically asked about finding one here at Spank Your Wife. While singles may put their contacts in the comment section of ANY article, perhaps this one will draw more since that is its purpose. I sympathize with those who desire spanking in their future marriage, and who find it hard to bring up the topic. There is also natural embarrassment in some to let others know they want to practice discipline. For that reason, it seems convenient to look for a place just for singles who want to spank. Look for the like-minded, right?

In general, as I’ve written before, I believe the traditional approach is better; look for a man or woman who is godly and believes in traditional gender roles. Look for someone convinced on headship and submission, who’s prepared to live that way. Be sure they are at least a good candidate. Then find a convenient time to bring up the topic of discipline. I’ve written several essays on how it can best be brought up. I believe this approach works best, because it focuses on finding a godly mate, and places those things most important at the head. It’s what I did in finding my wife, and it worked for me.

I also found this true before I was married. Of the women I knew who agreed to be spanked, or who yearned for it themselves, not one did I connect with through an advertisement. It was an activity one of us brought up after we met in a different fashion. It does take some courage to do, but it’s not an unrealistic task. The culture may look down on wife spanking, but many men and women learn in their hearts it is natural to do, and is fulfilling in it own way. The male and female natures God gave them leans that way to begin with; the man desiring to show his strength and command, and a woman feeling great excitement at responding with femininity, and being firmly in his grasp. That programming in us does not change with culture. It’s there in every man and woman you meet, minus a very rare genetic anomaly. You’re also likely not the only soul who’s read about spanking online, or been at least curious about it. You’ll find there’s a good chance it’s not a shock when you bring it up to a prospective partner. They haven’t been living on Mars or Pluto, you know. A few may have practiced it before.

Advertising for a spanking marriage has certain disadvantages. Firstly, it puts the cart before the horse. It makes one facet of a marriage the thing you are looking for, rather than the major components. Spanking is only a tool to be used in aiding marital headship and submission, and in healing discord back into harmony. It facilitates the bigger things in marriage, but it’s NOT the bigger things in marriage. It’s just an aid. Moreover, advertising for a spanking partner puts enough of a focus on what others find shady, that it attracts more shady customers. One has to be careful always in finding a mate, but when spanking is in the forefront, there is more danger of the nutters and the sadists coming out for a bite. You have to be very discerning, and will need to filter out some people, probably sooner than later.

If you do make spanking your advertising point, I still recommend spending much more time and discussion on the basics: The responsibilities of man and wife. How we treat each other. The lifelong nature of the bond. The need for children and for training them. The fact that intimacy is shared freely and without refusal. The honor it is to witness to the Savior through marriage, and how to have a home life which represents the Lord Jesus. Let the learning process proceed as normal, even if the invitation to meet was from a spanking ad. Rest on what a marriage is, and recognize spanking is only one tool, and not even the only one in providing discipline. Make sure you are filled with both joy and purpose in marriage, and are as passionate about what marriage accomplishes as you are about over-the-knee time. Marriage is a responsibility, and provides us our future. It is not a game.

With that thought in mind, feel free to advertise below if you are single and would like a spouse who will use or accept discipline. If you are not, you can still comment on the process, and offer advice. Perhaps you met your spouse this way. If I had the option, I’d have a page just for finding a mate, but I don’t have the time or funds to put one together. I have seen men and women grow from absorbing this website, and I would be equally honored if men and women came together in marriage through it. I want to bless people and bless marriages. That makes my efforts worthwhile.

Peace to you.

Published by aronhusband

I am a happily married man from the U.S. who's been blessed with five children. I write about marital discipline in a Christian home at my website It contains articles on spanking in marriage, as well as advice on leading the home. I offer personal advice and mentorship in marriage to men or women who contact me. I long to see more and better marriages, in my country and the world.

59 thoughts on “Your Place for Singles

  1. Alright, I read somewhere on your site, that you get many views from Germany, so I’ll give it a shot: I’m a female in her early thirties looking for a caring partner, to form a DD-relationship with. If you’re in your thirties as well and live in NRW, message me:

    Thank you for this post, Aron!


  2. Hello, my name is Katie, I’m 25 years old, and debt-free😄 I’m looking for a Godly man to lead me in marriage. I live in oregon with my family so I don’t meet a lot of masculine men with traditional values. I’m willing to court someone up to ten years older than myself. I’m 5’4, slender with long brown hair. I do hold some unorthodox beliefs, which I realize may limit my options, but, after all, I’m looking for the one man God might have for me. I believe very strongly in traditional values, such as being a homemaker and mother to as many children as The Lord Might Bless me with. Marriage is my goal, I’m not interested in messing around. Also I should mention that I completely agree with this blogger’s view on spanking outside of marriage, I think it should be done within the bounds of marriage. Please reach out if you’re interested!


  3. Hello, I’m a single guy, age: 29 year, living in Atlanta GA, specifically I live 30 minutes outside of the metro area. I firmly believe in Christian Domestic Discipline. I firmly believe that, as a man in a Godly marriage, I make the rules and enforce them. My wife has to comply with those rules. When she does not, I correct her in very clear and strong terms (but also in deep love), with spanking or through other methods.

    I enjoy knowing God more, hanging out with family and friends, and continuing to achieve more in the ways of my mission and purpose in life.

    It’s okay if you’re a work-in-progress as a woman, but I’d need to see that you are committed to being totally submissive and appreciate a man who will discipline you. I look forward to connecting with Christian ladies, and starting something that could lead to marriage. My email:

    Thanks Aron for creating this platform.


  4. Hello, I am a divorced Christian man, early 40’s in central New York. I have been in a DD relationship before and I believe this lifestyle works well to help me be the best man I can be. I am looking for a woman who feels DD helps her be the best woman she can be. I imagined I would be the one to approach a woman about a potential relationship but I can understand some women will not be comfortable publishing their email. My friends tell me I look a little like Bruno Fernandes on the Manchester soccer team but I think I’m better looking than him even if I do have a few more gray hairs 🙂 I wish everyone the best and hope you find what you are looking for.


    1. Thanks for writing. This is the English translation I get online: “Gaby, 23, I’m Brazilian, I’ve seen many marriages being destroyed due to the feminist movement, I want to be a traditional wife according to the Word of God, in a CDD wedding.”


  5. Hello everyone! My name is Adam. I am 24 and I currently live in San Antonio TX. I am looking for a CDD with a lovely woman. I would hopefully like kids and a nice house to live in.

    I like to read, draw, watch TV, and be outside. I’m also interested in growing my faith and talking to people who are interested in the same stuff that I am. If anyone is interested please send me a message!


  6. Hello friends! I’m a 28 year old female from West Virginia who’s just looking for what every woman secretly (or not so secretly) wants: a loving marriage and a few beautiful children. I’d like someone close to my age to build this with, so if you think we’d be a good fit, email me at

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hi, young female in MA. Don’t know that I’m incredible but I am a man (51) of God. Perhaps we can chat first via email and see.


  8. Hello! I do not know if this is still active. I am a 37 year old female in MA interested in meeting an incredible man of God who wants to enter Christian domestic discipline. I am happy to respond to this thread.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Teacher in MA, its been a while since you made your post but maybe you’re still looking. I am close to your age and looking to meet someone special with a heart for the Lord. I already posted my email above if you would like to learn more about me.


  9. Hey, Aron. I am a 22 year old Christian guy who has grown very fond of what you say here on this blog.

    For the longest time, i was under the impression that the thoughts and desires that you have shared on your blog, were wrong and incorrect and that the only way you can be a man, is to be passive and try to be equals.

    That mindset ended up making me very soft and wishy washy mentally…and I’ve started to realize that that is not the role that a man should serve. Thankfully, i met a few guys in college that helped me start to grow back into the role that God had intended for me.

    I pray that I can find a wife whom I can love and cherish, bit also provide a firm foundation for us to grow through CDD.

    Do you have any advice for me?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Austin, That is fantastic news. I’m very grateful you’ve found my site, and have been nourished in your growth. I have heard from others who also came to change their mindset on gender roles and discipline over time. It can really take a while, both to accept a man’s leadership role, as well as to see how discipline fits into that role. It’s a great journey to be a godly man, and I know you should be excited about your future.

      Do you mean to ask if I have advice in finding a wife and starting with discipline? It’s good to know there are still godly women even in western culture, which is secular and decadent. There are women who know their role, or at least are willing to learn and accept what their role is; who will not give you attitude. If you are in a very liberal area, it can be harder to find a woman like that, but looking for women from other cultures often increases your chances.

      It is important to make sure a future bride understand what marriage is about, and what being a godly woman is before you marry. She should be committed to her submission, to being a mother and homemaker, and know that marriage is always for life. Husband and wife fulfill their responsibilities, and forgive the sins of the other. When you marry, that is the same person you will grow old with. You should be able to see before you are married that she knows to follow you, is gentle in spirit, and accept correction with grace. Make sure you know her well, by knowing her family and her church family.

      Starting discipline when both man and wife are committed is not that difficult, even though it takes some practice and adjustments with time. You will grow comfortable with setting standards and rules for the home, giving commands, and correcting her in the proper fashion. Don’t be afraid of causing pain, since a punishment will hurt and it needs to. Be firm and thorough with discipline, since that is what it takes, and it is good for her. Correction is the outworking of love, even when it hurts.

      Make sure that you are leading the kind of life you should as a Christian and a man of virtue. That is your obligation, and will also help attract the right kind of woman. She should know you are sincere, faithful, and a man of God. She will get down on her knees for you, and you should be getting down on your knees before the Lord. You should be responsible, look in all appearances like a man, and someone she will be safe with. It will still take some time to lose past attitudes, and wrong patterns of thought. It does for everyone who makes life changes. If you keep walking in holiness, and are dedicated to being what a man needs to be, you will notice those past wrongful thoughts, and shoot them out of the sky. You will see clearer and further as you do.

      Please continue in your learning about your roles as a man, and found your life on faith in Christ and the Word of God. Christ is the establishment of all things in our lives. Follow Him and your blessings will serve His Kingdom, and even your sufferings will bring wonderful fruit. You will have peace in your soul, and be able to bless those around you. No one, not this culture, not every last person on the planet, can change the role that God has given you. It does not change. Man is the leader, priest, and prophet of the home. That’s an awesome responsibility, and know the value it will produce for your own family and for the future.

      If you haven’t seen it already, here’s an article on preparing to have headship and discipline in your marriage:

      Plus one on starting discipline:

      On taking charge:

      I hope that addresses your question, but let me know if it does not. Feel free to write me at my e-mail as well. Thank you!



  10. Your writing about why spanking makes men better leaders and why women love to be spanked are the most direct, accurate and all around best explanations for this totally natural need that I’ve ever seen. I used to be ashamed and think it was a perverse fetish to want to be physically taken over sexually and submit my bare bottom in ritualized fashion to be spanked as well. Your observations have made me realize I don’t just want to play at this, I actually need this in my life and partner. It’s normal. Without it, I will fight over who is in charge, dwell on petty issues, and be unsatisfied sexually since I won’t have a clear leader as my partner. I know I need formal weekly maintenance submissions to remind me of my place as submissive support mate, to feed my need to submit and receive discipline, and to hold me accountable. I know I will need to be taken sexually as well when he desires because otherwise I will be withholding and testing to see if he is “man” enough to make it happen anyway. Like Scarlet O’Hare. Although you just know he spanked her good and well before he had his way. Women can be complicated, and I’m not saying we are all the same, but thank you for spelling it out so that I saw my truth. I’m in my early 60’s but it’s not too late. Will love to correspond with anyone who is very intelligent, decently educated, and understands my needs.


    1. I’m very honored you find truth in my writings, Tea. I believe in this strongly and when I have time pour my efforts into explaining it. I care to help people. If I can encourage, inspire, or guide even a single couple toward leadership, submission, and discipline, I am very happy.

      That’s excellent that you know your needs, a far as submitting. It takes humility and courage to truly submit. Accepting correction isn’t easy either, even when you desire it for yourself. You’ve got to face it and learn from it.

      It is truly horrible the culture has convinced millions that discipline is either wrong, or a strange sexual fetish. It is something wrapped up in our souls. Remember, in other cultures, it is still not especially rare or frowned on. It is egalitarianism that’s oddball, not headship and submission.

      Feel free to leave your contacts if you’d like. Blessings.


      1. I’m a little afraid to leave my email but am following this line of posts and will respond if someone leaves theirs. Will love to also chat with other women who are or have already reached the same conclusion that I have.
        Wish you had a forum. Please consider that as a way to help more people be their best and be free to be who they really were meant and born to be.

        I hope you continue to write, you speak to the truth, and more women share how they came to realize this. How they came to this realization too. I am a feminist out in the world, a professional and a boss. But when I come home, I want to know he will hold the line and enforce it. I know you said we should first just look for the right partner then later bring up domestic discipline but it has not worked. it ends up being embarrassing for both of us. It is unlikely to find one that way. I’ve tried.

        It took me so many years to get past all of society “norms” that make this practice seem perverse. I carried so much guilt, embarrassment and secrets. Your explanations of why it’s really natural and God given set me free to be me.


      2. That’s fine, Tea. I hope you can find good fellowship from this website. I have heard both good and bad reports about the kind of people readers have met. I believe it is worth the effort either way.

        It’s a good idea to have a forum. Thank you for the suggestion. Right now I don’t have the capacity, and I don’t know how I’d have the time to moderate it. However, a visitor shared with me his new DD forum. It’s not very active at the moment, but if people jumped on there’s be more give and take. I’ve invited him to post it here himself but he hasn’t yet.

        You can check it out right here:

        Yes, it can take years to readjust your thinking, and drop some old wrong attitudes. But once you do, it is amazing how right and how fulfilling God’s path is for us. So many problems disappear. It took me a long time as a man as well. I know your experience can help other women learn.

        Peace to you.


    2. Hello Tea.

      English is not my first language cause I live in Scandinavia, I hope I´ll make myself understood.
      With some experience of CDD I think we could write some mails and benefit from that to start with. I am 74 but look much younger I think. With 176 cm from the floor I´m a little heavier than I should but it´s possible to manage.

      Friendly, Sigurd


  11. Thank you for sharing your knowledge of a relationship where the husband is head of his household. I truly wish someone had shared this with me before I began my adult life. I am 46, divorced for more than a decade from a marriage where I struggled because I was forced into the role of being in charge, and craving a taken in hand relationship with a Godly man. I can tell you it’s very hard to find. After my marriage dissolved I began soul searching and trying to understand what I needed out of a relationship. I came across a few extremely outdated posts on DD but truly felt I had found what I needed. I have bravely discussed this with three different men that I have dated over the years only to be shut down and honestly ridiculed for desiring such a lifestyle. Needless to say those relationships did not last. I came across your post yesterday and I’m very thankful that you have taken the time to write on a topic that the world seems to reject. I may never have the opportunity to experience the life I feel God intended for me to live, but I know I will never accept being in a relationship that is less than what you have described in your posts. I pray that God will bless you and your wife for honoring how the Bible teaches a marriage should be.


    1. Hello Smiling, I’m honored that you are so moved by my website. Thank you. It’s what I deeply care about. I can see how you have learned from your experience and from your hardships. Many women have the wisdom to understand they can get out of hand if their man is weak. They should still work their hardest to be submissive, but the man’s clear leadership and strength helps immensely.

      Marriages with husband and wife committed to their roles don’t generally have problems with women usurping their husbands, or with being openly disrespectful to them. If only men knew how much of a difference their leadership makes. We do not need more passive men. If men knew to use discipline, nearly any man would find it a useful tool in handling his wife. We need to inform both men and women, and they must be committed to their roles. I hope you do all you can in the future to come to the meekness and humility that the Bible teaches a woman must have.

      I must also say — and I’m not opening this up for a big debate — that if your marriage was a first for both of you, then it is for life. No separation or divorce ends a marriage. It simply puts a pause on the practical end of it. The Bible teaches a separated woman to either remain single, or reconcile with her husband. Those are the two blessed paths that God has for you, and you can glorify Him greatly in either path. Those who take new spouses are sinning, and need to repent. God brings us one partner for life in marriage, and what God has joined together, man may not put asunder.

      I deeply appreciate your prayers.


      1. I agree with your comments on marriage. I took my wedding vows to heart. My marriage ended when my ex left me and our family for someone else. He married again, divorced again and then passed away. I have learned a lot. Just learned it the hard way. I am thankful that God is still revealing things to me and that I feel his love and mercy around me every day.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Hello
    My name is Hisham, I am 34 years old,
    Although, I am from Egypt and I live there, and I believe that’s really difficult to have a woman that want someone to discipline her , but I wanted to try anyway because I am a big fan of this blog and I am happy that there are some women who still believe of what a real woman should be
    looking for a long term relationship that’s full of domestic discipline.
    If you are interested
    Email me:
    What’s app: +201007792477

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Hi all, My name is Amy and I live in the Midwest. I am looking for a CDD relationship. Christ is who I follow and desire to be like and I want to meet a man with similar values who also disciplines. Someone who is a leader and will be the Head of the Home. I am 45 and willing to relocate. I am always up for more conversation and would love to hear from you.


  14. I just stumbled upon this page as I was looking for methods to handle one of the children I nanny that is going through an unruly phase. I feel like I have found exactly what I’m looking for, not for her, but for myself! I have been very interested in meeting a man who is mature and dedicated to leading his family with a firm, but kind hand. I have read many dd books, but have never picked up on any men I know having this trait in real life. Due to society emasculating men, I’ve yet to meet any man (single or married) that I could see having this perspective on relationships. I am quite shy at first when I meet men I do not know, so this has kept me from engaging in any real conversations that might lead to discussing cdd. I have recently moved to Alabama and have started going to a new church, so maybe some of the women there can offer me some insight from a woman’s perspective. I’d love to talk more about this with men who might be interested in getting to know me or other women who would like to talk more about your perspectives. I’m almost 29 years old and my email is

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Hi there,
    I am a 43 year old woman living on the west coast but with strong ties to east coast as well. Very much looking for a strong leader and what Aron describes in his articles. Have struggled to find a place to meet men with these values. I have researched a bit and feel very drawn to the accountability and embracing my submissiveness.


  16. Hello my name is Sara and I’m a 30 year old woman living in northern IL looking for a CDD relationship. I’ve read quite a few of your articles and I love your site!


  17. Single guy late 40s looking a with woman who believes in spankings and is searching for a gentleman that has the time and interest in providing guidance, accountability and spanking to the woman in his life.


  18. Here is a little information about this birch bundle made from very thin ends of twigs. If you use this tool you’ve got a form of correction which gives an intense pain but it nevertheless leaves no marks that don’t disappear in about one day. You don’t have to use much force here—it isn’t necessary, the pain builds up slowly and you can keep up the good work for half an hour for a lasting impression in your wife’s mind. This isn’t cruel at all compared to using a cane which you can use only a very short time and therefore doesn’t cause the lasting memory effect you want to achieve.
    Have in mind that this birch branch bundle dries very quickly. You can easily soften it by putting it into a big ceramic bowl or anything with hot water. It then becomes as good as new and fresh. I think that these implements that are mentioned here very often are too harsh and nearly cruel! With this natural, silent and free tool one makes the dear wife’s behind get this necessary, intense pain without bruises and scars.
    I strongly recommend a bundle of about ten, very thin branches from a birch tree, for example! A proper length can be about one foot two.
    It should look like this, perhaps with even thinner ends of the twigs:

    No noise at all, (at least from the tool), and very effective but still harmless.
    You can normally start up with 20 to 30 slaps with open hand and then use this bundle! If you want to be very silent you of course use this method immediately,
    It is a very mild form of spanking at the beginning but after about 150 lashes it makes a sharp, stinging feeling that can not be ignored. Then you pause for a minute or two and then continue. All of this can and should be done several times but of course it is up to yourselves. Do not forget, during a maintenance spanking, to communicate with caresses and hugs. We love our wives, don’t we!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your description of using the birch bundle, Sigurd. I’ve never tried it and always been curious about how it works. I don’t think most of us have used it. Are there twigs from other trees that work well too?


  19. This is such a great idea! I’m a 30-year-old female seeking a CDD relationship. I’m curious what your thoughts are on discipline during the courting phase. I’ve heard a variety of opinions on the topic ranging from recommendations that it be off limits until marriage to indications that it can be helpful to introduce prior to marriage so the expectations are already set. What do you suggest? Are there ways to introduce it without crossing premarital boundaries?


    1. Hello Sarah, Thank you. I’m glad you appreciate the space for singles. I hope the Lord leads you to a godly man who will lead you and love you for life.

      The topic of spanking during the courting phase comes up occasionally. There are naturally many who will desire to try it. I think it’s clear it should be discouraged, because the nature of spanking is so intimate, and commonly involves nudity. Spanking also comes with an erotic charge, and can easily lead to temptation to sin. Moreover, a man does not really have true binding authority until they are married. They might model headship and submission before then, but it’s practice, and he has no formal rule over her.

      I realize many people spank while courting anyway. Those who desire to avoid temptation, will keep the lady clothed during the spanking. It may not come with the full sting that way, but a paddle over clothes is still not easy to take.

      So I recommend against it, because spanking is best left for marriage. It might only be a few months wait to get married. That’s really not a long time.

      I hope that helps answer your question.


  20. I quite enjoy reading this site as it speaks to everything I believe in. I’ve found that relationships without a strong DD component just don’t work for me- and I’ve definitely tried.

    I’m 41, living in California but not tied to it. I’m open to any age, any location- if the connection is there, that’s what’s most important.

    I believe that as the man I’m the head of the household, following God’s lead. I believe in consistent domestic discipline, meaning clearly defined roles, rules, and expectations. Consistency is the key in DD, in my opinion. If I let anything slide, you could spiral. So I don’t let anything slide- sorry in advance! Haha.

    I’d love to chat if you think we might be compatible. I’m Joe- say hello!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. To any young Christian ladies interested,

    Have you ever wanted to meet a Man who can kill spiders, open Jars, and listen to you talk about your day? All while being tall, handsome, and possessing a pair of blue eyes you can’t help but get lost in? Well then look no further the man of your dreams is here. OK I know what you’re thinking this sounds great! but what’s the catch? Well…I’m a Man which means I watch sports, drink beer, and from time to time am emotionally unavailable. Although I suppose for the right woman I could work on that last one haha.

    However most importantly I’m a Man of faith. I truly believe that god has guided and blessed me throughout my life, especially the last two years. Likewise I am looking for a woman who shares my strong commitment to following God. I want a relationship and eventually a marriage where we Love, Cherish, and Adore each other the way the bible commands us to. A feat I don’t think is possible without a shared faith in God.

    Anyways my name is Sterling and if you wanna know more, shoot me a flirty message at I am 28 years old and would like you to be roughly around that age as well. Obviously we met here so Christian Domestic Discipline would be a part of any relationship we develop.

    Thank you Aron for this site whether I meet my future wife here or not you have been extremely helpful to this young Man.

    Liked by 1 person

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