Most couples enjoy the early period of their marriage, when they have all their time to themselves, and go out whenever they wish. All time is alone time with your beloved. All activities center on you two. As it applies to discipline, that solitude means that you can take care of a correction very quickly. You are free to make some noise during a spanking. Every room of the home is open as a place where discipline happens, as long as the windows are covered. This changes when children come along; first one, then more, and the rooms of the home become taken up with their presence and their activity. Just as it becomes a challenge to go out alone, it becomes a challenge to take care of discipline in the same way you’d become accustomed. When you reach this point, you will see a few things have to change in a big way, but discipline can still continue as long as you adjust your system.
The most immediate change is that you’ll soon start looking for more silent instruments. Perhaps you won’t need to immediately when the child is still an infant, since there is little newborns understand. But it does not take long before the sound of a punishment session would disturb them. Silent instruments or methods become the norm once children are around. The loopy is among the most popular, but there are others. Blind rods are also very silent, but can be bent or broken easily. A variety of cords also reach the goal, as do non-spanking methods such as capsaicin cream, which will leave the skin hot until the next day. The cane isn’t too loud, and it delivers a fierce bite.
Partners who want to have a session where they can express themselves much more — and it can be helpful to do so — will have to plan on it. They’ll need to either leave their children with a trusted party, or travel to a nearby location where they can be alone. We’ve had family take our children to the park before when I wanted to deal with discipline in a noise-making way. The ability of a woman to vocalize herself while being spanked can be valuable, both in her sorrow and her tears. Sometimes a loud instrument is the best one to use anyway. I know some couples even go out to a vehicle, or a garage to get solitude and silence. A lot can depend on your circumstances, but with planning you can find a situation where silence is not necessary.
Naturally, having children also means spankings are done less immediately. Early in marriage there is nothing stopping a young husband from simply turning his wife over his knee immediately, lifting up her skirt, and spanking away. Or from taking her to any room of his choice, the living room, the bedroom, the bathroom, the study, and delivering a proper whipping on the spot. Two young couples I’ve spoken to recently told me that’s the way the man prefers to do things — bend her over and punish her right when he sees the bad behavior. After children, waiting to deliver discipline becomes more normal. Men will find they need to let their wives know more often that they’re going to have to have a talk later: We’ll deal with this tonight. We’ll deal with this tomorrow. I’m going to have a talk with you at the end of the week. A little wait is not a bad thing of course, but I don’t recommend waiting over a day, since a longer wait can really separate the mind from the wrong that has been done. It can make it harder to see the seriousness of the wrong, and the importance of correction.
Having children around also means that spanking instruments will need to be carefully kept away from sight. A new husband might be comfortable keeping a paddle, or a strap lying out on the table, or hanging on the wall, for his wife to see anytime. When you’re free to do that, it’s visibility can even be a useful reminder to her. With children, instruments are kept away, with the exception of ones that are ordinary household objects, such as a belt or a hairbrush, and these can be left in appropriate locations, being innocent to some, and a warning to others. The exception to this would be when the instrument is used for disciplining children too. If that is the case, and children know they can be spanked, there is nothing odd about having a paddle out. No one needs to know it is used on the lady of the house as well.
The question also arises if it’s alright for children to know that the wife gets spanked. People also ask themselves if they’ll just find out on their own anyway, since it’s inevitable that not all spankings will be as silent or private as hoped. Most houses aren’t all that big, and sometimes children’s sleep across the hall from the parents. There’s plenty of room for disagreement there, and I don’t think there is any right answer. While spankings are inherently private, and children should not be viewing them, I see nothing wrong with children knowing that mother gets spanked, just like they get spanked. They know what a punishment is, and they know when someone is bad they get punished. It’s within their understanding, even if the act itself and its details ought to be shaded from view.
I would avoid telling younger children, especially since they are apt to tell others, who have no business knowing. I believe it’s safer to wait until they are more mature, and then let them know. If you prefer to keep it a secret even until they are adults, that is up to you. Some people feel much shame about the act, along with embarrassment. If it really makes you uncomfortable, then don’t share it. However, children are not stupid, and if they’ve seen the signs, there’s a good idea they’ve guessed already. A man spanking his wife, however it might be ridiculed by society, is not hard to understand, and a child of any age can grasp it. It will stand as one more way of reinforcing that the man is in charge.
NOTE: Occasionally I get e-mails from readers, whom I then respond to, only to get a returned mail a few seconds later. I don’t know why it is returned, whether a technical problem, or a recently deleted e-mail account. However, if you have written me, and I did not respond, then there is some kind of problem, as I respond to every e-mail, usually within a day. That is excepting some hate mail or long-term harassers. If I didn’t respond to you, feel free to write again from another e-mail. Thank you.
Congratulations to South Korea, which appeared second after the U.S. for website visitors two days in a row. SK also appeared in the top five several days after that. I know there are many husbands who still are traditional heads of home in East Asia, and who punish their wives. I do thank the commenter who shared my website with South Koreans online, for helping to share the message with our friends there.