A Discipline Manual

We need to have a little talk . . .

Taste of the Cane

Let me introduce another guest article by Mark, who is writing today about use of the cane in discipline. As with other guest articles, I’ve asked him to write on subjects I do not have hands-on experience with. I have never used the cane for discipline and he has. By all accounts of spanked wives,Continue reading “Taste of the Cane”


There is someone who has been inspiring and encouraging me about the state of marriages. That someone is my dear readers on this site. That’s you. I have been regularly pleased to hear positive changes coming to marriage, as well as men and women who become open-minded and even passionate about applying headship to theirContinue reading “YOU”

Traditional Marriage and Wife Spanking in India

This is a testimony from one of our female Indian readers about upbringing and marriage in traditional Indian, and Hindu families. Her husband has also helped me a great deal in understanding how marriage and family works there. This experience does not reflect every family in India, where in certain places western values have takenContinue reading “Traditional Marriage and Wife Spanking in India”

A Beginner’s Guide

I want to make things as easy as possible for visitors to this discipline guide to get the best help possible. We do have many visitors who are new to wife spanking, or who just are curious and want to learn, and I often wonder if it’s hard for them to find the articles whichContinue reading “A Beginner’s Guide”


Besides faith, trust is perhaps most core to a traditional marriage. To practice headship, submission, and the discipline that comes along with it requires trust in God and in your spouse. Both man and wife have an easy ability to do wrong, to cause harm, to intentionally slight the other, and even to dynamite theContinue reading “Trust”

Repeat Spankings

The idea of a husband spanking his wife several times in short succession seems on the surface a bit extreme. Often our first thought is that one punishment only deserves one spanking, or that having two in a row could be dangerous. With those limited ideas it seems superficially radical to be giving a spankingContinue reading “Repeat Spankings”

Fear in Spanking

The aspect of fear is present to some degree in any discipline system. Facing a spanking can be a trial, both because of the coming pain, and because of the ego being taken a step down. It’s one reason disciplined wives try to avoid a spanking, and one reason it is a deterrent. A hardContinue reading “Fear in Spanking”

Does Spanking Interfere with our Laughter and Fun?

Taking the shift from modern western values to traditional ones, which respect the spanking of wives, will require adjusting much in your lifestyle, your attitudes, and your language. There are things from the past which will carry over well. There are practices which will naturally have to end, or simply become more subdued. If yourContinue reading “Does Spanking Interfere with our Laughter and Fun?”

Sex as Dominance

For many couples the introduction to a man’s headship and a wife’s submission is not a religious belief, or even a website like this. Their discovery of spanking may not be from a “fetish site” or a popular film. Rather countless men and women realize the reality of the marital interplay of masculine and feminineContinue reading “Sex as Dominance”

A Response to MGTOW Fears

The phrase MGTOW (men going their own way) is quite the buzz word these days. Like a lot of buzzwords, it describes a real phenomenon, and then subsequently forms a real phenomenon, encouraging people by its simplicity and clear identity to define themselves this way, even if their beliefs, thoughts, and causes are a bitContinue reading “A Response to MGTOW Fears”

A Proper Thrashing

There comes a time when a wife needs to face not only a spanking, but what is sometimes called a hide tanning, barn burner, or a proper thrashing. In most spanking homes, a woman knows she can face one if she acts up enough. She knows it is different territory as well. No wife wantsContinue reading “A Proper Thrashing”

That Tender Early Period

As many couples are beginning their journey into marital discipline, they experience with some excitement, as well as trepidation, that early period of learning. For a wife that frequently means more spankings than usual, as she gets used to her husband’s rules and expectations. For a husband, it means some amount of experimentation, of decidingContinue reading “That Tender Early Period”

Mr. Light Hand

Some people refer to marital discipline with the term — taken in hand — which is an expression I like, because it connotes the leadership as well as protection a wife has in being in her husband’s hands. That hand of protection, and correction, doesn’t always need to be hard though. While I believe thatContinue reading “Mr. Light Hand”

Kneeling in Marriage

Kneeling is used in many marriages with discipline to communicate what is close to the core of marriage. It is often used in correction as well, and to sexually train a wife. While westerners balk at kneeling before an authority, often for cultural reasons, kneeling has been a form of reverence for thousands of years,Continue reading “Kneeling in Marriage”

That Group Thing

I have a healthy respect for the variety that exists in marital discipline. However, I want to warn about one aberrant practice that you find in some spanking homes. This is the use of onlookers during a spanking, or even of having others come in and perform the spanking. I make mention of this inContinue reading “That Group Thing”

Too Good to be Spanked

Many couples bring spanking into their marriage to deal with bad behavior, and seriously rotten attitude when it occurs. Many find it useful as overall training in submission as well, building and maintaining a wife’s soft attitude. The subject often comes up, however, of wives who are naturally submissive and have a heart to serveContinue reading “Too Good to be Spanked”

Wives Teaching Wives

I’ve only recently used these pages to invite singles to meet here for marriage with a like minded partner. I want to use this article as a chance for newer wives to meet with more experienced ones. Discipline is a topic that many are private about, and tell few if any people they practice. ForContinue reading “Wives Teaching Wives”

The Use of Restraints

The field of wife spanking comes with some common rituals that occur in the large majority of households. When it comes time for a punishment, it is typical for the wife to place herself over her husband’s lap (after undressing of course), or to bend herself over the bed, or a sofa. She remains inContinue reading “The Use of Restraints”

The Answer to Fears

A lot of women going into being a spanked wife still have worries, even if they have decided this is right and good for them. While everyone has fears, and we learn to overcome them, we don’t want them interfering with submission, or making a wife miserable. Fears can’t be an insurmountable obstacle. What’s mostContinue reading “The Answer to Fears”

No . . . Not the Cane!

The cane has been an instrument of civic punishment for millennia, and similarly in schools nearly as long. We can see uses of a literal rod for punishment in ancient Greek and Roman schools, as well as in early China and India. Small, primitive tribes in Africa have been known to use various kinds ofContinue reading “No . . . Not the Cane!”

What Can a Man Do?

I want to answer some of the common questions that men have when they are faced with the possibility of learning to discipline their wives. This might come up because their wives ask them for a spanking, or it might come up because he learned about spanking online and is considering its use. While manyContinue reading “What Can a Man Do?”


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16 thoughts on “A Discipline Manual

  1. I’ve read many of your posts for about a year now. The discipline seems very harsh and almost self serving. Like if her behavior is not serving you, you hurt her. Where as biblical love (Jesus) is a model of leadership that serves, that shows honor to his wife as the weaker vessel lest his prayer be rejected. It doesn’t sound like you treat your wife as a delicate flower. Many of the examples of discipline I have read sound disturbing, like a kind of pain that a man, or you yourself could not take let alone your delicate wife? It seems extreme and nearly dehumanizing. I agree that there is no true authority without liberty to correct poor behavior, through consequences and discipline of choice. Every authority (schools, and jobs) have the right to discipline poor behavior. But imo the things I have read on this page doesn’t sound very Christ like. It is not merciful. It is not kind. It seems on the cruel and extreme side, the extent of the “beatings”. To spank your wife is one thing, and is to be done from a heart posture of love and selfless care, not from a lack of empathy. Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.


    1. Hello Lili, Thank you for visiting my website. I hope that articles on headship, submission, and marital discipline have been helpful to you. Objections like the one you bring up I find to be heavily subjective. There is no clear line in Scripture, or in logic, to define exactly where acceptable discipline ends, and overly harsh discipline begins. We have to use some guiding principles to find that place. We may not all agree on where it is.

      Rightful fair spanking in marriage should be for the benefit of the wife, and not simply for the husband to exalt himself, or to vent some steam. The punishment also should fit the crime, and not be severe for the more minor infractions. Nor should the punishment be injurious. The husband ought to give his wife a chance to explain herself, to make sure he is fully informed, and making a just decision, and also consider her response to punishment in the short and long terms in deciding how to apply it. All of these things help assure that a spanking is not overly harsh, but is done with love and self-control.

      However, punishment is not meant to be easy, and it’s unpleasantness itself is noted in Scripture: “Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:11) God also institutes punishments that one receiving might find to be harsh, including corporal punishment, which often was given with a rod. It is a loving God who institutes such punishments, and likewise a loving husband who disciplines his wife as well. A hard-to-bear spanking is not too harsh, according to biblical terms. It fits in acceptably with how a husband must treat his wife.

      I hope that helps you better understand spanking in marriage.


  2. Bob was nice to me and let me join a chat Group where all the people were suppose to be Christians and all the wives we’re supposed to be obedient wives like me. They asked me to tell them about some things and then I don’t understand but they all start saying what they would allow their husbands to do. I didn’t think any wife should tell her husband what he can do , these were not really obedient wives. And none of their husbands did anything about how sassy they all were, if I ever talked like them I wouldn’t be sitting down for a week. Bob told me I am no longer allowed in the chat group. I think a lot of wives think they are obedient but they really don’t think they have to obey their husbands if the don’t want to. Bob just said that as long as I am a good girl that’s all I need to worry about. He said he didn’t want me to say anything else about this because I would be disrespectful to the husbands and then I would get spanked.But Bob said it was ok to mention this on Aron’s place. A lot of wives say they are obedient but they really are not


  3. Thank you for writing and posting this manual. I am new to being submissive and I have asked my man to step into a HOH role that includes leadership and discipline and have agreed to do my best to follow his command and be a much more cooperative partner. I am being patient as he has not fully embraced his role and I am still trying to overcome some negative and really destructive habits. We have definitely improved our relationship and we do have a written agreement which was important to me. It helps keep me aligned as I will occasionally read it and know that this journey was my idea. I don’t know exactly how we will progress but what I do know for sure is that I feel closer to him than I ever have before and I wish to honor and obey and lift him up.


    1. Congratulations Better Lady. I’m very happy to hear you are benefiting from discipline already. I know it will help your husband in leading you and in leading the home.

      It takes time to shed some past attitudes and bad habits. I have seen women move forward successfully and leave them behind completely, so I am confident you can do it. One of the great rewards of spanking, besides its effect in correcting bad behavior, is how it instills submission and in how it draws husband and wife close together. It places his stamp on her soul.

      May other women learn from your words. Know joy as you keep growing as a virtuous wife.


  4. Hello Aron, thanks for your great website. I am enjoying it very much as a learning tool. I have a question about the loopy. It seems like it is on the harsher end of instruments–perhaps harsher than the belt and only rivalled by the cane? If so, why would a husband use more strokes with it if it is already delivering more pain? Is it only in more strokes that the pain comes through? It appears that it is quite harsh for many women as a tool on its own. Does it work as the moderate spanking tool (vs the paddle) considering how painful it seems to be? I wanted to get clarity as I am presenting the option of spanking tools to my husband. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, NT. I’m glad you are appreciating this discipline manual. That’s a very good question. The loop is considered harsh by many women who experience it. A lot depends on what kind it is though. It can be made of rubber of varying weight, or of leather, and even steel.

      I think it is possible that husbands spank more because of its light and flimsy feel. They think then need more work to get the job done, when really they do not. It may also be that some loops are a bit too light, so the extra swats make sure more pain is involved. I think it’s a little of both. I go pretty long with it myself.

      It will be interesting to see what your husband thinks of the loop. It’s most popular attraction is that it’s quiet, but it can also deliver some fire. Perhaps let us know what he chooses.


    1. Hi Amanda, Thank you for visiting my discipline website. I wrote one article on “Boot Camp” right here: https://spankingyourwife.wordpress.com/2020/09/09/high-gear-and-intensive-training/

      I do not go into great detail on it, but I go over a few situations in which such intense training could be useful, as well as provide an outline of what usually goes on during such training. It is not highly detailed though. You can find detailed outlines of Boot Camp elsewhere online.

      In sum, I think such intensive training can be good to begin with, if a woman is new to discipline, or if she has trouble with submission in general. It might also come in useful later in a marriage, if she is slipping in her attitude, or if a couple has had to spend time apart, and needs to get back into great with leadership and submission. It is a good teaching tool, but is not necessary for all.

      I hope that offers you some help, Amanda. Feel free to ask any other questions you have.


  5. I would be very interested in an article about how your relationship is structured overall aside from punishment. For example, did you agree on predetermined rules prior to your marriage? Also, how often do you discipline your wife for the same thing? Particularly a serious infraction. Would it be the same punishment since it’s already harsh?


    1. Thanks for your comments. I definitely could do an article on the structure of our marriage aside from punishment. That’s an interesting idea. Feel free to send a reminder to my e-mail.

      I established some basic rules prior to marriage, just to let you know, but I do not make very long lists of them. She knows she submits to me and needs to fulfill her responsibilities in the home. She knows she follows the standards I set for the home.

      It’s something she is committed to as a godly wife. Punishment only comes in when she veers off the path in a significant way.

      I do have a few articles on marriage in general, such as It’s a Wonderful Life, Leadership Like Christ, and others. I think they allow one to see discipline as it fits into the bigger picture of a loving and godly marriage.


      1. Yeah, except there is nothing Godly about any of this. You just have a sadism kink. And as long as your wife has that kink as well, it’s fine. But don’t fake some religious b—s–t.


      2. Hello Devin, This is not a very thoughtful comment at all, but I am going to respond since it opens up several good avenues to explore, at least for those readers who care to think. I don’t expect you to absorb much of it, since you are obviously just shooting off your mouth, and full of your own biases. But I write for the average considerate reader.


        On what authority do you say that male headship and the disciplining of wives is “nothing Godly?” Are you a Christian who has accepted the Lord as your Savior, and who trusts that the Bible is the Word of God. If so, your language and beliefs don’t reflect that, and you have shown me nothing at all from the Bible to say it isn’t godly.If you are not a Christian, then where can you prove that spanking a wife is ungodly? Are you the source of divine revelation through which we know right and wrong? What proof does your personal opinion provide, or the trends of the current culture? None. It’s just a claim you make.

        I would offer the evidence that it IS godly. I say that based on the authority of the Holy Scriptures, as well as on the observable results of the behavior. Male headship is explicitly taught in Scripture, as is wifely obedience. So that’s godly enough. Headship in general is taught in Scripture, including the authority of parents, masters, government, and God. Those under the headship of another obey that person. That is the will of God.

        Wife spanking is not mandated or prohibited in Scripture. However, punishment in general is all over Scripture. God chastises His beloved people Israel. Christ chastises His Bride the Church. So we can see easily that perfect love goes hand in hand with correction and discipline. It is an expression of love. Morevoer, we cannot view corporal punishment as ungodly, since the Bible both commands and permits corporal punishment in various instances, towards children, servants, and criminals. So if it were evil to give a simple spanking, then what is God doing commanding evil? Of course, He could not, so a spanking is not evil. It’s a normal mode of discipline, and often works very well. Spanking, we can see, is godly.

        A few things that qualify as “ungodly” in contrast are the result of out of control women. It is ungodly for women to think they are independent from their husbands. It is ungodly for them to disrespect their husbands. It is ungodly for them to speak poorly about their men to others. It is ungodly for women to divorce their husbands, as they do regularly in this society. It is ungodly for women to dress immodestly, fornicate, raise children without a dad, and kill their babies when they get in the way of their lifestyle. All these things and more are ungodly, and a good, virtuous man will lead his wife away from any of this behavior, and chastise her if necessary.


        No, I do not have a “sadism kink.” I will tell you a few things that I DO have though:

        1: I have a well behaved wife
        2: I have a wife who respects me daily
        3: I have a wife who accepts correction easily
        4: I have peace and tranquility in the home
        5: I have a happy and harmonious marriage
        6: I have marital affection when I desire it.

        That is a result of leadership in the home, and of following the godly and natural order for man and wife. It truly is GOOD.

        The idea of accusing someone of simply having a “kink” suggests there is something odd about spanking your wife, and that this is some purely sexual thing. These are both wrong ideas.

        Wife spanking is not an odd “kink” but has been a normal practice for thousands of years, in some cultures nearly universal. It has been practiced in other religions than my own and in other cultures than my own, in distant and modern time periods. That’s because, far from being an odd thing, it is normal to man and wife. It follows from the man’s natural authority and power, and from the woman’s natural yielding, and her love for his strength. This is core to human nature, core to man and woman. That’s why you find it so broadly, and even find it in this modern era, which has tried to force egalitarianism on everyone. It continues, and is common, because it is normal to human nature.

        Nor is it a purely sexual thing. Spanking is for the discipline of wives, and for training in submission. It does it’s job well. It improves their behavior and attitude, and helps them to be softer towards their husbands. Hooray for spanking. There is an undeniable sexual charge to it, surely, but this is not because that’s the purpose of the act, but because man and woman quite naturally have a sexual charge. The man’s strength and the woman’s yielding, whether in bed or in a spanking, carries a sexual energy. It always will.

        Men and women do actually experience sexual desire together, and that is far from a kink. It is a physical and psychological drive, that is connected to their masculinity and femininity, and yes, power has something to do with it. There is power involved in bed, and there is power involved in a spanking. Nearly any man, disciplining his wife, will find the act arousing. A tiny minority who have a kink? Hardly. Almost every single one. It’s called Human Sexuality.

        I realize you must have visited the site a number of times and read through more than one article. I do not see, from this comment or others you have left, that you desire to learn a single thing. You are set in your worldview, which is heavily affected by modernism and feminism. You have abundant knee-jerk reactions against men being in charge, and against men disciplining their wives. The only thing I could say to you is not that you wrongly understand spanking. It is that you have a wrong basis for truth. Your foundation for truth is wrong, and you ought to find the right one. The only right one is found in God first, because He is truth itself, and goodness itself, and the only true Life that there is. Secondarily we know truth from reason, which allows us to understand this world through consistent principles and solve problems. Truth is not to be found merely in your immediate feelings, or what your teacher taught you in school. It starts with God and reason.


        I do not “fake” religious belief. I am a sincere believer, born again in Jesus Christ because of His grace and mercy. Christ is my life, and the only real one that I have. Since God rules over all that we do, He also rules over marriage and everything in the home. Therefore, I seek to make my marriage and family pleasing to Him. It should follow His order. It needs to be filled with prayer and worship to Him. Nothing in the home ought to violate His will. The home should be a holy place, and be a witness to Christ’s salvation, and a place to raise children in the faith and in virtue. Discipline also is not apart from faith. It should serve the ultimate goals of God for the family, and nothing else. Nearly any other Christian who practices marital discipline would tell you the same thing. Discipline is bound to the purposes of the Savior, and is to strengthen and nourish the marriage. What else could a believer expect it to do?

        You need to realize, even if you don’t admit it here, that you have a religion too. It shapes your worldview, it shapes what you think of the universe and of humanity, it creates your value system, what you understand as right and wrong, and what you aspire to be. That is your religion. It is also what is giving you the false idea that it’s wrong for men to be in charge, and to discipline their wives. You have placed your faith in the wrong authorities, whether it be worldly Christianity, New Age, Secularism, Scientism, or simply yourself. We are all people of faith, every single one of us. However, we need to place our faith in the right object and the true object. That can only be the God of all creation, and to worship anything else is idolatry. God made you, knows you, sustains you each moment. If you do not know Him, search the Scriptures. Read the New Testament. Read simply one single Gospel. If you turn to trust in God and His Son, you will know peace and love forever.

        That is what I would want for you.


      3. Yes, men did build civilization as we know it. That’s called human history. It is very recent that women sought to imitate men in those fields. We need women much more at home, where they are most valuable.


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